Life in arrghland

A blog about the life of an alien in a little town in Ireland…


November 2016

The Unbearable Solitude of Being an African Fan Girl

By Chinelo Onwualu Being an African fan girl is a strange, liminal thing. You’re never quite sure that you exist, you see. A part of you is rooted in your culture and its expectations for how a wom…

Source: The Unbearable Solitude of Being an African Fan Girl


7 Days of erm..Dating.

Last week Hubby and I were having a conversation about how since I started working full time we’ve barely said two words to each other every day. Opposing work schedules, a commitment to fitness and an active social life had seen us reduced to a ‘how was your day’ benign conversation every night as he walked through the front door and I schlepped upstairs to bed. So I came up with a great idea to have seven full days of date nights. In a way, to cram 6 months worth of date nights (we usually have one a month), into 7 days.

The first day was as fun as you might imagine. We talked, we giggled, we had times. It was great!

We struggled by day three. We still had a lot to talk about but two days straight of late nights and early mornings was beginning to take its toll on me. Hubby was still up for anything and excitable as usual. But then he gets to sleep in the next day till noon because his work schedule is different from mine.

By day 5 and after staying up till 1 am in the morning with my eyes barely open as I stumbled up to bed, I gave Le Hubs a warning to not plan anything the next day that kept me out of my bed after 11 pm. This was an almost impossible feat considering he does not come home from work till 10 pm most nights!

On the 6th day we both agreed we’d made a mistake. We were both royally exhausted and I was already planning a solitary escape for the weekend. We both tried very hard to gather enough excitement for the evening but agreed we were relieved there was only one more day to go. Day 7 is today. I suggested that for the last day, we should just have a blanket picnic in the living room, in front of the fire and watch Christmas movies. That’s all I’m fit for at the end of a very busy week.

I think I’ve had enough dates to last me till next Summer!too_tired_for_sex

Apple Pear Cider — Cooking with a Wallflower

Fresh apples and pears cooked with cinnamon sticks, cloves, all spice, and nutmeg. This delicious slightly sweetened spiced apple pear cider is the perfect drink for fall. Omg! This apple pear cider! I’ve been waiting to share this with you for awhile now, but I thought it’d be better to wait until we got closer…

via Apple Pear Cider — Cooking with a Wallflower

You don’t have kids? Your life must be perfect.. and other variations.

My husband and I have been married six years now and have been TTCing since day 1 of saying I do. We are yet to be successful. Most friends and family know not to pressure us or ask how our baby making mission is going but there is that one friend that didn’t get the memo on sensitivity.

I’ve not know this friend for long so for quite some time I excused her behaviour for just

interior arrangement of a bedroom with living room chair inside  couple bedroom colour bathroom door ideas for small spaces
This is not my house

being ignorant of the facts. Less than a year ago  I finally mentioned that my child free home was not by choice. She was suitably sympathetic and stopped her insensitive comments for a brief period. Now they’re back with a vengeance and brutal in it’s precision and frequency. It’s like a slap in the face. I literally gasp when it happens.


We all know people like this. I find it hard to figure out the motivation or thought process to saying things like this to other people.

Wrong: Oh you’re lucky you don’t have kids to mess up your house. It’s no wonder it’s always tidy.

Right: I admire how well you keep your home. It’s so tidy.

Wrong: What do you mean your house is filthy and you’ve had to clean all weekend? It’s only two of you. It’s not like you have kids..

Right: I hate house work. Fair play to ye.

Wrong: You sometimes leave dishes in the sink overnight? What dishes? Who are you even cooking for? Is it not just two of you? At least you don’t have to cook for kids.

Right: I do the same OR I love doing dishes, lemme come help you out some night.

… And variations of these types of conversations.

How can you justify saying this to someone who’s confided their fertility issues to you? So you have six children under the age of eight and have no free time? Is this enough to warrant such behaviour? Is it resentment, jealousy, tiredness, tactlessness, one-upmanship? What?

Why resent others for choices they never made? Why not love your life however you find it. Stop thinking others have it easier than you just because you can’t see the struggle. Let people live.


I am an introvert. Some of you already knows what this means in terms of where I get my energy from. I always need to recharge otherwise I’m bad company in spite of my love of people. So this October was a challenge in of itself.

You see, not only is October my birthday, but a few of my cousins and friends are also born the same month. What this usually means is that my social life tends to explode during this time of the year. Normally I can control said social life to an extent as it’s not every year my friends and family members make a fuss about celebrating their birthdays. But for some reason, 2016 was the year everyone decided to have a big party all within days and weeks of each other!

My birthday is on the 16th so I decided to celebrate the following weekend on the 22nd. It was a milestone birthday so I wanted to throw a BIG cocktail party. Understand this is going out of my normal element but I kinda felt like I had to do something to mark the new milestone age. Yeah, I’m not doing that again soon!bdaycake

Turns out, two of my friends (with birthdays on the 12th and 17th) had been planning a joint birthday celebration complete with fancy dress for the same weekend too.Then a couple friends who had a destination wedding a month ago, also decided to throw a wedding party for those who couldn’t make it abroad, for the weekend of the 29th.

Inlaws 40th wedding anniversary this year? You guessed it. Early October! Friend’s hen do before getting hitched? Same day as wedding party! All this with my job, teaching Sunday school and the plethora of activities we planned for the teenage church for two weeks of the month. Insane!

I feel like I’ve been smiling, grimacing and eating cake nonstop since the first week of the month. How do people with super packed social lives do it? I am royally exhausted!

Time for a spa break I think and no friends invited thankyouverymuch…

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