Life in arrghland

A blog about the life of an alien in a little town in Ireland…



The Season Of Love

I suppose you do come to a time in your life when you give up on the superfluous demonstrations of ‘we are in love’ vibe that everyone loves to put out when Valentine’s day rolls around. Love for the (recently) 40-ish couple means a lot of things during the year but especially for Valentine’s day it goes like this:

  • That you actually get the date right. This year my hubby presented my card with a flourish as i peeled potatoes (still in my boots and scarf from work) and in a sing sung manner, wished me a ‘Happy Valentine’s day’. Problem? It was the 13th of February. Better early than late eh?
  • That you get a card. Not getting one just means you don’t care. It doesn’t matter if you got it at the corner petrol station convenience. A card is a must otherwise you’re getting the silent and deadly treatment. No ifs buts or maybes. We are not asking for much.
  • That you organise something. As women we’re not sure what that something is but even if it is announcing that you will be making or ordering dinner that day, that works. Bonus points if you’re also doing the dishes.
  • Getting corny, mushy or silly is downright encouraged. A little lightheartedness is a delight to the heart. It’s how we forget all the f@*k ups from the previous years and convince ourselves (again) that we made the right choice in choosing to shack up with yourself.
  • Flowers will almost guarantee you get some. They are optional but who doesn’t like to get some eh?

And that’s it folks. Happy Valentine’s day!!!



The Unbearable Solitude of Being an African Fan Girl

By Chinelo Onwualu Being an African fan girl is a strange, liminal thing. You’re never quite sure that you exist, you see. A part of you is rooted in your culture and its expectations for how a wom…

Source: The Unbearable Solitude of Being an African Fan Girl

7 Days of erm..Dating.

Last week Hubby and I were having a conversation about how since I started working full time we’ve barely said two words to each other every day. Opposing work schedules, a commitment to fitness and an active social life had seen us reduced to a ‘how was your day’ benign conversation every night as he walked through the front door and I schlepped upstairs to bed. So I came up with a great idea to have seven full days of date nights. In a way, to cram 6 months worth of date nights (we usually have one a month), into 7 days.

The first day was as fun as you might imagine. We talked, we giggled, we had times. It was great!

We struggled by day three. We still had a lot to talk about but two days straight of late nights and early mornings was beginning to take its toll on me. Hubby was still up for anything and excitable as usual. But then he gets to sleep in the next day till noon because his work schedule is different from mine.

By day 5 and after staying up till 1 am in the morning with my eyes barely open as I stumbled up to bed, I gave Le Hubs a warning to not plan anything the next day that kept me out of my bed after 11 pm. This was an almost impossible feat considering he does not come home from work till 10 pm most nights!

On the 6th day we both agreed we’d made a mistake. We were both royally exhausted and I was already planning a solitary escape for the weekend. We both tried very hard to gather enough excitement for the evening but agreed we were relieved there was only one more day to go. Day 7 is today. I suggested that for the last day, we should just have a blanket picnic in the living room, in front of the fire and watch Christmas movies. That’s all I’m fit for at the end of a very busy week.

I think I’ve had enough dates to last me till next Summer!too_tired_for_sex

Apple Pear Cider — Cooking with a Wallflower

Fresh apples and pears cooked with cinnamon sticks, cloves, all spice, and nutmeg. This delicious slightly sweetened spiced apple pear cider is the perfect drink for fall. Omg! This apple pear cider! I’ve been waiting to share this with you for awhile now, but I thought it’d be better to wait until we got closer…

via Apple Pear Cider — Cooking with a Wallflower

You don’t have kids? Your life must be perfect.. and other variations.

My husband and I have been married six years now and have been TTCing since day 1 of saying I do. We are yet to be successful. Most friends and family know not to pressure us or ask how our baby making mission is going but there is that one friend that didn’t get the memo on sensitivity.

I’ve not know this friend for long so for quite some time I excused her behaviour for just

interior arrangement of a bedroom with living room chair inside  couple bedroom colour bathroom door ideas for small spaces
This is not my house

being ignorant of the facts. Less than a year ago  I finally mentioned that my child free home was not by choice. She was suitably sympathetic and stopped her insensitive comments for a brief period. Now they’re back with a vengeance and brutal in it’s precision and frequency. It’s like a slap in the face. I literally gasp when it happens.


We all know people like this. I find it hard to figure out the motivation or thought process to saying things like this to other people.

Wrong: Oh you’re lucky you don’t have kids to mess up your house. It’s no wonder it’s always tidy.

Right: I admire how well you keep your home. It’s so tidy.

Wrong: What do you mean your house is filthy and you’ve had to clean all weekend? It’s only two of you. It’s not like you have kids..

Right: I hate house work. Fair play to ye.

Wrong: You sometimes leave dishes in the sink overnight? What dishes? Who are you even cooking for? Is it not just two of you? At least you don’t have to cook for kids.

Right: I do the same OR I love doing dishes, lemme come help you out some night.

… And variations of these types of conversations.

How can you justify saying this to someone who’s confided their fertility issues to you? So you have six children under the age of eight and have no free time? Is this enough to warrant such behaviour? Is it resentment, jealousy, tiredness, tactlessness, one-upmanship? What?

Why resent others for choices they never made? Why not love your life however you find it. Stop thinking others have it easier than you just because you can’t see the struggle. Let people live.


I am an introvert. Some of you already knows what this means in terms of where I get my energy from. I always need to recharge otherwise I’m bad company in spite of my love of people. So this October was a challenge in of itself.

You see, not only is October my birthday, but a few of my cousins and friends are also born the same month. What this usually means is that my social life tends to explode during this time of the year. Normally I can control said social life to an extent as it’s not every year my friends and family members make a fuss about celebrating their birthdays. But for some reason, 2016 was the year everyone decided to have a big party all within days and weeks of each other!

My birthday is on the 16th so I decided to celebrate the following weekend on the 22nd. It was a milestone birthday so I wanted to throw a BIG cocktail party. Understand this is going out of my normal element but I kinda felt like I had to do something to mark the new milestone age. Yeah, I’m not doing that again soon!bdaycake

Turns out, two of my friends (with birthdays on the 12th and 17th) had been planning a joint birthday celebration complete with fancy dress for the same weekend too.Then a couple friends who had a destination wedding a month ago, also decided to throw a wedding party for those who couldn’t make it abroad, for the weekend of the 29th.

Inlaws 40th wedding anniversary this year? You guessed it. Early October! Friend’s hen do before getting hitched? Same day as wedding party! All this with my job, teaching Sunday school and the plethora of activities we planned for the teenage church for two weeks of the month. Insane!

I feel like I’ve been smiling, grimacing and eating cake nonstop since the first week of the month. How do people with super packed social lives do it? I am royally exhausted!

Time for a spa break I think and no friends invited thankyouverymuch…

Two Irish Seasons

Winter and Pre-Winter. Both with generous lashings of rain.

While everybody is getting excited about Fall weather and talking about finally wearing layers and season appropriate colours, We here in the south of Ireland are silently grumbling about the fact that it’s been kinda like Fall since July.

You think I jest? Nah. For the past few years, Summer weather has been skippingirishweather Ireland entirely and visiting our neighbours up North instead. Seeing pictures of my friends in London wearing shorts and tank tops in June was the one thing guaranteed to bring up the green-eyed monster of envy as I sat in my sitting room with a blanket carefully tucked around me.

This ‘Summer’ of 2016 was the absolute worst. After waiting impatiently for the Sun to burst forth following (a very short) Spring, We were delighted to have a solid week of sunshine and warm(ish)weather in June. Then there was that slightly sunny week we also had in July. That’s it folks. Summer was officially over.

The bitterness is real people and I may never get over it. Bah humbug to Fall and all those stores already putting up Christmas decorations in early October.

Irish weather has made me a grinch.


via Daily Prompt: Realize

6- The year you realize you are funny and that there is power in the ability to make someone laugh.

10- The age you realize books are an acceptable and fun way of escape. You devour everything, from Enid Blyton to M&Bs to Encyclopedia Britannicas.

13- The moment you realize your body is changing and you are powerless to stop it.

15- The moment you fall in love and realize what longing truly is.

17- The time you realize your parents do not know everything and can make mistakes.

18- The year you left home and realized you knew nothing.

19- The year you sunk so low into depression you did not think you’d come out of it. You realize how much your family’s presence had contributed to your positive mental health.

25- The moment you realize it’s never too late to go home.

25- The year you realize you can’t do it alone and found God. Everything changed.

30- The birthday where you realized you had to leave.

33- That time you realized you had a voice and that you were okay with who you’d become.

35- When you realize you married the right person.

39- That moment you realize you have a lot to say and are ready to say it.

To be continued…epiphany-word-nerd-definition-via-lawhimsy


Spicy Shrimp Miso Garlic Butter Noodles — Cooking with a Wallflower

Noodles cooked in spicy miso garlic butter with shrimp, mushrooms, and fresh basil. These spicy shrimp miso garlic butter noodles are delicious and savory, the perfect comfort food. Happy Tuesday! I say this every month, but can you believe that another month has gone by? As it gets closer and closer to the end of…

via Spicy Shrimp Miso Garlic Butter Noodles — Cooking with a Wallflower

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